15 Family Advent Ideas

I love all things Christmas – the lights, the songs, the smells, the corny movies and the meaningful traditions. I’m one of those - I could listen to Christmas songs all year long and leave the tree up till March. Something about Christmas makes me want to re-capture my long, lost sense of wonder and mystery – maybe that’s why I want to prolong the season. To a child, Christmas is a magical time filled with excitement and newness. It’s a time when parents establish traditions and create opportunities for their family to immerse themselves in the festivities related to the true meaning of Christmas.

Often as parents we engage in the same seasonal routines without realizing the long-term impact it has on our families. Though my son is now an adult, he is quick to make sure that I wait to include him in all the activities that I did with him while he was growing up. They didn’t start as traditions but over time they have become that. I see in him a deep desire to keep those traditions alive…why?

Studies show that traditions give us a strong sense of belonging and comfort. They remind us that we are part of history – it gives meaning to our past, shapes who we are today and who we are likely to become tomorrow. As a parent traditions give me an opportunity to reinforce the values and beliefs that I hold dear.

What values and beliefs do your Christmas traditions reflect? Here are a few our mine:

1. Make ‘nativity’ the focus in your home by displaying it where your family can see it everyday.  

   1. As our kids got older I would hide one of the figurines and challenge my family to guess who was missing and play sleuth till the figurine was found.

   2. The day that the figurine was found, our mealtime discussion revolved around that character’s part was in the Christmas story. I humanized that character by asking questions like – “how do you think ______ felt?” “If you were _____ how would you feel?” etc.

   3. After dinner we would all look for Jesus a few days leading up to December 25th (My kids would look for Jesus but wouldn’t find Him). Advent, the weeks leading up to the birth of Jesus is really a time of preparation to celebrate the birth of Jesus. I built excitement about the missing ‘Jesus’ and talked about the ‘longing’ the Jews felt while waiting for the Messiah.

   4. On Christmas day, we would wake up and look for Jesus, place him in the manger and talk about how God sent his son to be ‘with us’- Emmanuel! God with us! We took time to reflect on our need of a Savior. As my kids got older, our conversations became deeper.

2. Invite friends to a Christmas Open House Birthday party for Jesus. Decorate, bake a cake and sing happy birthday. Encourage attendees to bring a ‘Toys for Tots’ or ‘Angel Tree’ gift.

3. Find a single or sick mom and offer to buy gifts for the kids as well as clean and decorate their home.  Years ago I was blessed by friends that surprised me with this when I was fighting cancer. Their gift to me will forever hold a special place in my heart.  

4. Limit the number of gifts your kids receive to 3 things – a need, a want and a dream.

5. Create opportunities for your kids to earn money. Take them shopping and buy gifts for a charitable organization.

6. Make goodies and handmade cards for neighbors, shut-ins and community officers.

7. Visit the children’s hospital and sing carols and/or handout gifts.

8. Gift opening can be a blur since kids are eager and excited to open gifts on Christmas morning. Every year I read a different Christmas Story book and asked our kids to listen for their assigned ‘keywords’ to unwrap their gifts.

9. Buy or make an ornament that encapsulates a year - in each of your family member’s life. When my son was into photography, I bought a camera ornament, when my daughter was into Barbie’s I bought a Barbie ornament. Add the year to the back. It’s become a tradition in our home to hang ornaments with my son who loves listening to the stories associated with each ornament.

10. One of our favorite things to do till this day is to get into our pajamas, pack some hot coco and cookies and drive around neighborhoods to see light displays.

11. Read the Christmas Story from Luke 2. When the kids were young they would reenact the story as I read it and as they got older, they took turns reading it.

12. Attend Christmas services as a family.

13. Invite friends over for Christmas dinner. We’ve always had guests with us at Christmas Eve or day dinner. I’m proud of the fact that my kids have learned to share Christmas with others. Years of deep and meaningful conversations with those at our table have shaped our children’s understanding of diversity and relationships.

Photo by Gareth Harper on Unsplash

Making the Most of Family Rhythms: Faith Development in Newborns & Preschoolers

My grandbabies love playing in water. It’s their all-time favorite summer activity! A few years back I created a ‘water container’ that contains all the things that can enhance as well as spark their imagination while playing with water. When they were toddlers, they enjoyed placing a dry sponge in water. I was amazed at the amount of time they spent hovering around it, watching it absorb the water, while wholeheartedly giggling and laughing. I was overcome with joy at their ability to find delight in the trivial, and sad at how one day, like me, they would question what happened to their diminished sense of wonder.

But I know that their sense of awe serves a very strong purpose during these years. Brain development suggests that the first 9 months, followed by the next 3 years are the most critical. Everything that a person needs, to be all that they can be, happens during these years. The brain is storing information that will be used later. In other words, their brains are sponges - soaking and storing! Their deep sense of wonder makes this world their classroom. Every moment and experience is a teachable moment. Information input to the brain will never be as optimal as it is during this phase, and this happens through their five senses. So how can we capitalize on what is naturally happening during this phase?

First, discover what’s missing….

It’s easy to think of the “how-to’s” we teach every day – how to eat with a fork, how to play safely, how to brush your teeth, how to get dressed, how to walk, how to talk… However, what is often overlooked in the crazy pace of parenthood are the spiritual needs of our children. Maybe it’s because these needs are invisible. Experts say that children start living out their values at the age of two. Their sense of wonder coupled with their spongy brain makes this time frame the easiest time to shape their beliefs because they’re teachable.

When?
If you had asked me as a young mom to add something to my schedule I would’ve had an instant, ugly breakdown. Six weeks into my motherhood journey I was aghast to discover that my supermom cape didn’t come with an ‘Energizer Battery’.  Looking back, I wish someone had opened my heart and mind to understanding Deuteronomy 6:7-8. There is freedom is knowing we don’t need to find additional times in our day to pass on our faith to our children, but instead, we do it as we do life with them each day.

How?
We all wake up, eat, sleep, drive and hang together. We all do those things in the rhythm of our day, and God is just telling us to maximize them by incorporating faith into your ‘beats’:

• Talk to your baby/preschooler about God during these ‘beats’. I have found that bath, drive/walk, play and cuddle times are the easiest.

• Avoid feeling overwhelmed by choosing one thing to do each week. Be intentional about adding more, over time.

• Point out and link faith to everyday things. ‘God made (name of person or thing).

• Keep it short and sweet. Drop the details.

• Pick and share a few Biblical truths – ‘God made you’ and ‘God loves you’.

• Repeat truths and stories over and over again. You might get bored with repetition (I do!), but the brain thrives on repetition to make permanent connections.

• Keep it informal.

• Model it – faith is taught not caught. Model praying and reading your Bible. ntroduce them to love (not anger) – God is love. So how does a baby or preschooler define love? I posed t his very question to the parents at one of my parenting classes. They were stumped. Babies and preschoolers are sensory learners – they’re asking what love feels, sounds, smells, tastes and looks like? In light of this, what does your family life convey? It’s easy to assume that babies don’t understand what’s happening in the far corner of your homes – but studies show that their lack of inhibitory transmitters makes them more acutely aware, as well as sensitive to everything around them compared to adults.o Their spongy brain is soaking it in. As parents, when we lovingly embrace their physical and emotional needs, we help them understand love and introduce them to their Heavenly Father. With kind words, we introduce them to God’s love. With warm hugs, we show them what God’s love feels like. When we feed them we demonstrate God’s care and provision. When we protect them, we illustrate God’s protection….

Additionally, consider:

• At drive time, listen to children's worship music and sing together.

• At cuddle time, read a book, share Biblical truths and pray.

• At walk time, talk about God's creation. Stop, watch, listen and feel nature together.

• At play and bath time, reenact Bible stories using figurines.

Parents, no one has more potential, including the church, to impact your children spirituality more than you do. Your time is valuable, but limited. Your intentionality can reap a harvest, especially during the first 4 years of your child’s life. So how will you use your daily beats to convince your little ones that God made them, God loves them, and He is with them?

How To Make The Most of Preschool Years

Like a kid in a candy store I was eagerly awaiting Friday. I was so excited I had butterflies in my stomach.  My three preschool aged grandkids were coming over and I couldn’t wait to spend time with them.
Friday finally arrived. Three energetic and loud grandkids came bouncing into our home and the next few days became a blur. To be honest, within a few short, but what seemed like long hours I wanted to take the ‘batteries’ out of them! They showed no signs of weakening while both my husband and I were wondering how we were going to get through the next few days with the level of energy the kids promised to demand of us. As a grandparent, it’s easy to forget the amount of ‘work’ preschoolers are.  That night I silently asked God to give me the energy and perspective I needed to make the most of our time together. I knew from experience that time would evaporate and someday I would miss all the things preschool years bring, not only to them but also to me!

Brain development suggests that though preschool years are ‘work’ and might appear insignificant, but what our kids need as well as what we do for them every week helps establish life-long values.

1. When they’re eager to help and can’t wait to wash the dishes, set the table, sweep the floor, dress themselves as well as use the potty, it’s a reminder that they’re designed to find significance by working.

2. While they exert independence and demand ‘me do’, it might feel like we’ve lost control, but it’s a reminder that they need us to build their confidence by affirming their efforts as well as make them feel safe when they fail.

3. When bedtime becomes a war and their excuses outweigh our patience, their very rapidly growing bodies are relying on us to ensure they get proper rest.

4. When their unfiltered words leave us stunned as well as stumped, it’s a reminder that the foundation for future vocabulary is being built now and that words are experiments that evoke reaction more than having meaning.

5. When they navigate our cell phone and I-pad faster than we do, it’s a reminder that they’re drawn to screen time and that we need to set boundaries so they have positive exposure and develop healthy habits.

6. When we see them do a lot of 'firsts' and we recognize that with every blink they’re growing up faster than we want them to, it’s a reminder that their brain is designed to create new connections and pathways faster than any other stage of life.  They need us to introduce and REPEAT new and positive experiences NOW.

7. When they’re excited to see our friends as well as other familiar faces, it’s a reminder that they need a loving community of people to give them a sense of belonging.

8. When we introduce them to their body and teach them their proper names (including their private parts) we help them create a positive view of their body.

9. When their play dough and crayon creations drastically vary from day to day, it’s a reminder that they live in the present and art is an expression of how they feel now.

10. When they insist on playing and we’re too busy to engage, they’re trying to tell us they want to feel ‘connected’.

11. They might surprise us by using adult vocabulary while still having temper-tantrums and meltdowns... it’s a reminder that they really don’t know how to regulate emotions in spite of their adult-like behavior.

12. When they get sick and throw up and we can’t stomach the smell or mess, they just want us to hold them so they feel better.

13. When they spill and break things they want us to be patient with them and know that they’re learning how to control their fine and large muscles.

14. When you catch them talking, acting and imitating everything we do, it’s a reminder that what we model has more power than what we demand them to do.

15. When they enter the world of imagination and the kitchen towel becomes a super-hero cape and our living room furniture is converted to a tall building, they’re begging us to give them space to explore without ridicule.

16. When they bombard us with a series of ‘whys’, it might be annoying but it’s a reminder that they’re eager to discover how the world works and they trust us to keep their sense of wonder alive!

17. When they're older and alone and you find them sucking their thumb as well as twisting the corner of their funky smelling blanket … it’s a reminder that they still need YOU to make them feel safe and secure.

18. When they test our limits and we respond consistently with discipline and love, we make them feel safe as well as teach them to trust authority.

19. In spite of our best efforts to trick them into something new, when they insist on watching the same video or reading the same book repeatedly, they’re trying to feel safe by experiencing a familiar story.

20. When we're sleep deprived and exhausted it's a reminder that we need to surround ourselves with a community of people that can help us through this phase because our preschoolers need a healthy version of us. 

Trust me, even though it seems impossible now, you will get through this phase - I did. From experience I can vouch that it's easy to lose sight of the powerful opportunities every day brings to shape our preschooler when we're busy parenting.  The fact is, in 260 weeks the preschool phase will end...the things they do and how we respond to them during those weeks are building blocks for a strong future foundation, even though we may not see the results now. 

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash